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Guest sex column: The clitoris is a woman's real best friend

By Andra DeForest

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Published: Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Updated: Monday, May 11, 2009

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Andra DeForest, guest sex columnist

---- Read what men at Chico State think about the clitoris with this accompanying article. It will open in a new window. ----

If someone were to ask you to name the male and female sex organs, what would be your answer?

The answer would most likely be "penis" and "vagina." The question I put forth is this: What about the clit?

That's right, I'm going there.

As a woman who embraces and appreciates her sexuality, I feel that although the clitoris plays a crucial part in the quest for the female orgasm - the proverbial Sexual Holy Grail - it has been treated like a second-class sex organ to the vagina when it comes to female sexual stimulation.

The clitoris is defined as the female erectile organ comparable to the penis and exists solely for sexual stimulation and satisfaction. Although I am a proud owner of one, there were specific anatomical and physiological facts about the clitoris that I was unaware of, so I asked Jeeves, no pun intended.

The average penis contains nearly 4,000 nerve endings, according to The Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction. Contrary to popular sexual propaganda, the vaginal walls contain relatively few "sex nerves" - the exception being the ever-elusive G-spot, which, let's face it, can be difficult for males and females to find. The clitoris not only contains the same amount of nerve endings as the entire penis, but those nerve endings are condensed into a little mass roughly the size of a pencil eraser.

So why, if all the necessary nerves are wrapped up in an easy-to-access little package, is it more difficult for women to orgasm than men?

I won't name names, but a significant portion - read, "almost all" - of my past sexual partners, all of whom were male, were virtually unable to find my magic button on their own. Some even skipped it entirely - big mistake.

And usually once it was located, it was either awkwardly tapped like a broken morse code machine or practically burned off because homeboy was pretending to scratch records instead of trying to get me off.

Remember what I said before about the 4,000 nerve endings in the little mass? Youch.

The unfair truth is that friction produced during the intercourse puts sufficient stimulation on the sensitive head of the penis, thus giving your partner an Olympic sprinter-like advantage in your orgasm marathon.

Since I am leaving the G-spot out of the stimulation equation for now, vaginal intercourse alone for most women is about as sexually arousing as a bumpy car ride.

That may sound harsh, but you try having your partner climb to the peak of Mount Orgasm by thrusting his junk in and out of your business for an extended period of time, all without enough stimulation to cross the threshold from "eh, this is alright" to those moments of bliss you so rightfully deserve.

You'd be bitter, too.

Solution: foreplay. Heard of it?

Use your hands, tongue or even one of those delightful little vibrating gadgets on her clit and surrounding areas to get her heart racing and her toes curling.

Not many women can achieve an orgasm from intercourse alone, so whether she reaches orgasmic nirvana is almost completely contingent on how much attention you pay to her clit.

Still freaked? Ask your partner. Seriously, ask her and I bet she would be more than willing to give you a VIP tour of the dynamics of her Little Lady. Pay attention to the way her body responds to your touch and listen to her instructions: faster, slower, more or less pressure.

Also, bear in mind that lubrication, either from her vagina or from Rite Aid, will ease friction and not leave her with a pesky burning sensation. Once she's ready for the big show, choose positions which allow you to have a free hand to continue clitoral stimulation or positions in which she can pleasure herself.

Now, go forth and conquer the art of clitoral stimulation. She'll warm right up to you if you rub her the right way, pun fully intended.

Andra DeForest can be reached at adeforest@mail.csuchico.edu

Comments

5 comments
Your name
Wed Nov 4 2009 14:49
any guy that cant find it by himself is an idiot!!!!!
l
Sun Sep 13 2009 18:28
this article totally ignores that the biggest and most important sex organ for a woman is her brain. Guys need to pay attention to that, too. A few words to tell her that she's valued and appreciated go amazingly far as a turn on, without which he will be lucky to get to first base.
caroline
Wed Sep 9 2009 02:56
This article says it all. I have tried explaining to my current boyfriend what to do and he loves looking whilst I play with myself but he still can't get the technique right. I wish I could email him this article so as he understands just how I feel but I wouldn't dare!
Mercedes
Mon Sep 7 2009 20:48
This was a great article. One wonders how many sexual partners you've had though...I've only have one for four years and ours sex is and always has been amazing. It's all about communication and intimacy. Being open to telling them what you want and being willing to please both people.

I wish more men would realize that it's rude and selfish to get off without making sure she's fully turned on and satisfied. I also think more WOMEN need to appreciate this fact and not settle for the act alone just to make him happy. I know many girls who simply stop him when he tries to go there because he has no clue what he's doing, which makes it annoying AND uncomfortable.

Oh, if only our society could take a minute to slow down and enjoy each other fully. Then everything would get better, including sex.

milou
Thu Jun 11 2009 04:34
outrageous that people still call female organ vagaina; like it was only a bioglogical feature.

Will go through the article with my hubby, thanks Andra. And by the way; have a safe sex!







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