 "Photo:")
It's time yet again for another holiday brought to you by the greeting card companies.
All around Chico, store shelves are being crushed by the weight of 10-pound heart-shaped boxes of chocolate, sad-looking bouquets and hideous stuffed animals that sing 15-second soundbites of "Wild Thing" and "Hound Dog" with the clarity of a broken drive-through speaker.
No wonder single people despise Valentine's Day.
Well, I say to hell with commercialized romance. Why spend your precious extra dollars on overpriced candy, soon-to-be-dead flowers and creepy singing toys when sex is free?
Over the years, I have come to appreciate and even expect my sexual partners to be up for switching positions during sex.
No, I'm not a freaky nymphomaniac. I'm simply a woman who has experienced her fair share of two-pump chumps and sack sessions barely longer than the average Super Bowl commercial.
Changing positions frequently during sex allows partners to explore carnal creativity and figure out sexual boundaries at the same time. Another plus for switching it up mid-coitus is males are allowed a few seconds of "cool down time" between positions, making erections last longer and decreasing the chance of needing to explain away a lightning-fast orgasm. Don't worry - we know, this never happens to you.
As an ally of the gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and questioning communities, I am aware not every case of sexual intercourse occurs between a male and female. Being a straight woman, it is difficult for me to choose good sex positions for male-male or female-female intercourse, since I physically cannot engage in the former and have yet to engage in the latter. I think any of these positions can be modified further to fit the appropriate pairing. When it comes to sex positions, imagination is the only limit - and maybe your flexibility.
Heels Over Head
A twist on the classic missionary, the female's lower legs rest on the male's shoulders with her feet beside or behind his head. Keeping the feet or knees together narrows the vagina, allowing a tighter feel for the man and more potential G-spot stimulation for the woman. This face-to-face position also allows for more intimacy. This can be done through eye contact, kissing and uttering phrases that would make Aunt Elaine faint.
The Captain
Instead of the usual "doggie style" with the man on his knees behind the woman, the man keeps one knee down and one foot flat on the bed or ground. He puts his hands on the woman's hips, butt or lower back. Keeping bent at the knee gives the man more balance and control while simultaneously allowing him to strike the iconic pose that appears in a certain rum brand's advertisements.
The Leapfrog
Best done with the male sitting against a wall or bed (it also can be done with him laying on his back), the leapfrog allows the female to control the speed and depth of penetration. The female squats over the male with a leg on either side of his hips and feet flat on the ground. She uses her leg muscles to push herself up and down. I like this position because my leg muscles are much stronger than my abs, which are one of the primary muscle groups used in the classic girl-on-top position. Males tend to enjoy this position because they get to sit back, relax and enjoy the view.
The Tortoise
The female lays flat on her stomach or propped up on her forearms keeping her legs together. The male lies on top of her or supports his weight with his forearms and enters from behind. Keeping the legs together creates a snug fit for the male and forces the penis to slide across the G-spot, which is located behind the pubic bone a few inches up the vagina.
I encourage you all to open your minds and explore your sexuality. By figuring out what your best pleasure positions are, you'll know what you want - and what you don't want - in your future erotic experiences.
Carry on, sexual creatures.
Andra can be reached at sexcolumnist@theorion.com
1 comments