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First loves are hard to shake.
While there is no doubt that I'm over my ex and I'm sure I can live without her, it is impossible to meet a new interest and not use my ex as a reference point.
But is it healthy comparing a new partner with an ex?
About two months after our breakup I went on a date with a woman from a class. She seemed cool and we decided to get some Chipotle - a safe date spot.
The restaurant choice ended up being the only good decision I made the entire date. While it may be healthy to make casual comparisons internally between the old and the new, I would advise not mentioning anything about your ex to a date.
Thanks to my amazing conversation skills, the date lasted only 30 minutes. After I dropped her back off at her house all I could think about was how often I'd mentioned my ex.
I was not over my ex, and my date could not have seen it more clearly.
It can be hard to move on from a relationship that was so good. For some, time is the only way to heal a bruised heart.
When you think things can't get any worse, know that friends and family are there to help. When I was at my lowest following my breakup, my sister said something to me that I will never forget:
Your current love might seem like the best thing that ever happened to you and nobody will ever compare.
But when you meet the right person, then they will be the best thing that happened to you.
In addition to my sister, I would constantly vent to my best friends about how I felt and how I couldn't stop thinking about her. They were burdened with listening to my whining all the time - but that's what friends are for, right?
No matter how hard it may seem to get your ex out of your mind, one day there will be someone who you will meet and feel just as strongly about - perhaps even more so.
Eventually my ex popped up in my mind less frequently, and new interests became more important. I found myself comparing them less and less with my old love.
She will always be a part of my life in some way, but there's a reason why she is my ex. I take the experiences I shared with her, and now I have a better idea of who I am and what I want.
Remember to cherish the good times, understand that tough times only make you stronger and don't be afraid to let go and let new love guide you with an uncharted map.
Chris Thompson can be reached at cthompson@theorion.com
Related links Q&A with John: Can Mistakes from Ex-Spouse Affect Us Negatively? Is Your Ex Still Controlling You - Part Two
Video by Juan Aguilar
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