Sex Columnist: Dionna Mash: The ex-factor

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As college students, we are all aware of the saying "There's a first time for everything" - first drunken night, first crazy high and of course, first love. However, first loves may be the most dangerous of the three.

First kiss, first date and first fuck, all combined into a "great" partnership, usually leads most people down a path that makes the yellow brick road look like a trip to the store. Us women - and sorry, men, you too are equally guilty - tend to hold onto our first loves until one of two things happen: We fall in love again or our ex falls off the face of the earth and is unreachable via phone, e-mail, Facebook or MySpace.

The "Hi, we're 17 but act like we're married" mentality is typically to blame for holding on to ex lovers forever.

What we all need to realize is simply this:

1. You really never were married. Sorry, but him saving up a whopping 200 big ones for that promise ring doesn't count.
2. If there are no children involved, there's no need to continue talking nightly, even if it's just to say "hey."
3. There are many other studs in the sea, and it's a safe bet they'll be able to nail you better, too.

Anyone who claims to be "just friends" with their ex is full of crap. You can't truly move on if you don't cut the cord and part ways. By the way, cutting ties means no phone calls, no drunken texts and absolutely no "accidental," alcohol-induced hookups.

People claim sex with an ex is magical. However, the only thing different for me was my old boo begging me to come back.

Being friends with your ex is never just that. Recycling old love reignites old feelings and memories, and the longer you hit the sack together the more difficult things become. Get out before it gets messy. After all, you don't want to have to break up ... again.

Someone always has more feelings than the other, even if they say otherwise. Being in denial is unhealthy, and you will save yourself some drama if you both just stop talking altogether.

Not to mention savoring this "friendship" makes for awkward explanations when you begin dating someone new and are still receiving "goodnight babe" or "miss you" ex texts.

New lovers can't give you devotion if you're still talking on the daily about giving your old relationship a second chance.

My best advice for hanging up that first love is to just say "no." Say no to answering phone calls, avoid replying to "let's talk" text messages and under no circumstances do you accept invitations to any family events, even if it's just their little sister's birthday party. There is always a catch.

It may seem mean and cold hearted at first, but stay strong. Remind yourself that it's all a vicious cycle and sick attempt to fix something that is already broken.

I have never felt so liberated and happy since cutting off my first love. Although I will always care for him, it doesn't mean I need to keep in touch. I do want to eventually fall in love and get married - after all, I don't want to be that crazy cat lady.

Dionna Mash can be reached at dmash@theorion.com

Related links How to get over your first love How to Stop Thinking About Your Ex -or- How to Get Over Your First Love

Video by Juan Aguilar