A little more than a week ago, Ryan, my roommate from last year and good friend, was killed in a motorcycle accident.
Finding out he was gone made me know what it was like for time to stand still. The air suddenly seemed heavier than usual, and there was only one thing I wanted to do.
Be with my friends.
Ryan was a part of our group of about 20 friends we call "the kids," who all know each other from living in a hectic apartment complex together over the past couple of years.
The day we found out we had lost one of our finest was when I realized that the kids weren't just neighbors. We weren't just flip-cup fanatics who could be won over with a simple 12-pack of Keystone Light. We were more than Laker-haters, more than movie buddies, more than an excessive network of text messagers.
These were my buddies. All there at the same time, in the apartment complex parking lot, all thinking the same thing but not saying a word about our lost friend.
And not only were these my friends, they were now my heroes, too. No one stood there just wallowing in their own grief, but everyone had come to our favorite place to be there for one another.
There were free hugs to whoever needed one. When the Kleenex ran out, a roll of toilet paper was passed around to wipe red, puffy faces. The boys spent almost an hour tearing wood apart and bringing out extra chairs for the fire pit they had set up for us to gather around.
Even though I couldn't think of a time when I was more sad, I couldn't help but look around and think that the kids were the greatest group of people I knew.
I never expected to be able to count on them the way I know I can now.
I know that any one of them would have answered their phone when I wanted to call in the middle of the night to say I couldn't sleep. They would have skipped class with me so we could go talk about how much we missed Ryan.
I have to admit, I was surprised. Before this happened, it seemed like my friends were just the people I battled with to see who could recite the best movie quotes. They were the people I loved to party with.
We hadn't experienced anything like this before, so we didn't know that all of us would open our doors for each other, no matter what the reason.
It made me realize I have people who mean more to me than just getting together to watch King's games.
Every silly thing we do together has become more meaningful. Whether we are just driving around town or meeting up for lunch after classes, being with them is what I look forward to. I want these times to last forever, because there is very little else I would rather do than be with my friends.
And even though things are going to be different for a while without Ryan around to be a part of those everyday things, he would have been proud of us for making those moments count.
He would have smiled to see all of the kids sitting around the Third and Cedar parking lot, thinking about him and holding each other's hands.
He would have told us that things would get better, to hang in there and that we're lucky we have the people around us that we do.
And that's just what we did for each other.
Sarah Schaale can be reached at:
managingeditor@orion-online.net
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