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One of history's most monumental elections could be torn to shreds by a pack of pumas.
Astounding displays of immaturity continue to surround the extremist faction of the Sen. Hillary Clinton fan base, which is vowing to vote for Sen. John McCain in the upcoming presidential election. And in a swell of pride, they have graced themselves with a term of endearment, PUMA, standing for "Party Unity My Ass."
Leave it to the disgruntled 12-year-olds sitting on the Internet in their pajamas to change the face of the election.
A play on the original movement, which stands for "People United Means Action," the new PUMA crusade is a stubborn secession from the Democratic Party - and has about the same practicality as the South's secession from the United States in the 1860s. We all know how well that worked out.
"Democrats for McCain" is the slogan that they're touting. It wouldn't be such an issue if they actually believed in McCain for president. But that isn't the case - if Clinton can't be president, they'll vote for anybody else. It just may be a worse substitute than not voting.
The Clintonites are angry for various reasons; but the one that makes most sense is the accusation that she beat Barack Obama in the popular vote in the primary election, even though the winner is determined by the number of delegate votes.
While the math regarding the popular vote count remains hazy, the more rational approach would be to protest the method, not the man.
Believing the voting system is fundamentally flawed is not candidate- or even election-specific, so how does it make sense to support a candidate whose platform is the direct opposite of your ideological views because you are, like, so totally pissed?
A similar situation occurred in the presidential election in 2000, where Ralph Nader was the fashionable candidate, considered to be an ethical alternative to the two-party system. And George W. Bush laughed all the way to the White House.
Twice.
Now he's up for re-re-election via McCain's nearly identical policy agendas.
And voting for McCain isn't bad, per se, if you are part of the 25 percent of the country satisfied with Bush's performance. If not, you may be a little confused.
McCain's campaign advisers aren't confused, though. Almost immediately after the Democratic National Convention concluded, the GOP announced McCain's vice presidential nominee is little-known Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin.
That's right - it's a chick. Passing up the VP hopeful and crowd favorite, Mitt Romney, to pull the gender card? Brilliant.
After the decision, Indiana Republican Rep. Mike Pence said, "The American people will have an opportunity to break the glass ceiling and put a woman in the White House."
Essentially, "Come over to our party, we've got babes!"
Obama is six points ahead in the Gallup poll. Before the Democratic convention, the two candidates were tied at 45 percent.
All things considered, the divide should be much larger. Although Obama has the lead, the six-point bounce is not significant at the end of a convention, when support typically rises. Also, the poll does not account for the time after McCain's VP choice, so the lead could be shrinking.
Somehow, the prominent question buzzing around the DNC was whether Clinton's speech advocating Obama had "healed the wounds" of her die-hard supporters.
These "wounds" won't ever "heal" until we stop picking at them. It's time for the PUMAs to realize the importance of the election as a whole and focus on the real issues, instead of crying over spilled milk.
Silly kids, voting is for grown-ups.
Megan can be reached at opinioneditor@theorion.com
Political Ticker: Abbi Tanton - PUMA Party Unity My Ass Video from YouTube
Related links Comparing Bush and McCain People United Means Action Web site How Hillary's latest math hurts the party.
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