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Snot salad, crispy sneeze chicken and phlegm fries. Yummy.
Gross? I'll say.
This is what you get when your waiter is sick but continues to work.
Why?
It's called a "good work ethic." If you deprive yourself of any healthy thing your body might need and stay at work, you're a fantastic worker, worthy of all praise.
It's all a bunch of baloney if you ask me.
Why does our society value people who put work above personal well-being?
A good work ethic should be centered on how much someone produces or accomplishes during their shift. If your throat is swollen shut and full of puss, your productivity will undoubtedly be low.
I didn't always think this way.
In my early days as a Safeway employee, I would go to work feeling like someone beat me with a two-pound brick of moldy cheese because calling in sick made me look bad. I would hate my life while checking out people who would comment, "You don't look so good."
My thoughts turned negative while my head pounded away. I started daydreaming of suffocating people with plastic grocery bags before saying, "Would you like some help out?"
After three years of self-abuse and wicked thoughts, I finally decided what I was doing was ridiculous.
No one cared if I was deathly ill. They only cared that someone was there to do the job. I was simply another body in the store.
That's when I decided if I were sick I would take care of myself and stay home.
Screw working.
My bosses didn't like this new work ethic. If I called in sick, I got a long guilt trip or I was hung up on.
Suddenly I was the piss-poor worker who couldn't hack it.
My response: Whatever.
My only regret was seeing the lack of funds on my paycheck. Although I recovered from my illness quicker, I was left financially embarrassed.
Besides being guilt-tripped into working while wiping snot on your sleeve, many people can't afford to take time off.
About 43 percent of the private work force - roughly 50 million people - aren't offered paid sick days, according to USA Today.
By companies not offering paid sick days, it shows that work comes before everything else, especially health and happiness.
Heaven forbid people actually have lives beyond work.
In my perfect world, employers would value their workers' health, happiness and productivity. I know if my boss actually cared about me, I would actually care enough to do a good job.
People's lives shouldn't revolve around work.
Imagine being driven by happiness instead of money.
I would love to go to work because I enjoy doing a good job, not because I'm a paycheck shy of being broke.
Of course this isn't going to happen in our capitalist society. It costs money to provide people with paid sick leave. Paying someone for taking the day off and paying someone to cover for them is just bad business.
Where is the happy medium between my perfect world and our money-driven society?
Maybe I should take my column to Bhutan where the government measures gross national happiness along with the gross national product in order to dictate its policies.
Any predictions on the gross national happiness for the U.S.?
Looks like I'm off to Bhutan.
Too bad I can't afford the plane ticket because I called in sick last week.
I rest my case.
Carla Hansen can be reached at chansen@theorion.com
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