My last relationship can be summed up as dysfunctional and unpredictable.
No, I'm not talking about my boyfriend. I'm talking about my estranged iPod.
We have spent a tumultuous year together fighting, disagreeing and even enduring some physical violence.
I still don't really know what went wrong. At first, things were great. We worked out together, walked to school together hand-in-hand, did homework together and spent nights cuddling. He was the first face I saw in the morning and the last I saw at night. I even dragged him along to family events, but he spent most of the time being pretty quiet.
He was never really a social butterfly. I was weary about going to parties with him. I didn't want everyone gawking and asking questions. I spent so much money on outfits for him on these occasions, like a black leather jacket and a pink coat, which may be one of the reasons that we're not together anymore.
Then, six months into the relationship, things started to go south. At first, they were small things, such as spending less time together and him ignoring what I wanted. Things got really bad the night that I was cut off - right in the middle of our song.
But, I convinced myself that we could work through it.
My cousin even stepped in to try and settle the rift between us. He helped to rekindle our relationship temporarily, but we were soon right back where we started.
As a last resort, I made a cardinal sin in any relationship: I called my ex. I really thought he could give me some advice on my problem. After all, he is the one that introduced us.
But it was no use. The honeymoon period was over, and we had officially moved into a critical stage.
So, we ended it. I guess you could say that I got dumped, but I would argue that it was the other way around. I'm the one who pulled the plug - literally. Now, we just ignore each other completely.
I've moved on, of course. My new T-Mobile Sidekick is everything that the iPod wasn't. I have communication, dependability and fun. We get along really well and connect.
That's just something that the iPod and I didn't have.
So whether it's a Nano, Shuffle or Mini - black, white or pink - it will always disappoint.
My roommate's iPod was brand new and played videos, and her relationship ended even more abruptly than mine.
We've all wasted so much time on relationships that just aren't worth the trouble, and the best thing to do is just end it.
Now I'm in a relationship with more stability and trust.
And don't worry; if I find myself having deja vu a year down the road, I won't be the one crying. I have insurance.
Ashley Marshall can be reached at amarshall@theorion.com
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