Dear Chico,
Nice bathing suit. You're so right, floral prints never go out of style. Want me to rub some lotion on your back?
Anyway, did anyone catch Billy Bob Thornton's recent radio interview in Canada? The video has officially gone viral and it illustrates the sheer depths of douche-baggery an actor can sink to.
While promoting his band's new record, Thornton took great offense when the DJ mentioned his acting career.
Sporting a soul patch and a gigantic sense of entitlement, Thornton turned into a whiny jerk at the mere mention of his day job. You know, the whole reason he's gained any exposure for his crappy band.
The whole ordeal reminded me of why actors who try to be musicians always suck. It's such a cheesy, self-serving attempt at "branching out" to show artistic merit.
And they inevitably get all pissed off when you mention the fact that no one would even know about their third-rate musical aspirations if it weren't for the national celebrity status they gained through film.
Let's take a tally, shall we?
Russell Crowe's band sucks. Keanu Reeves' band sucks. Jared Leto's band sucks. Kevin Costner's band sucks. Bruce Willis' band sucks.
And don't even get me started on Eddie Murphy.
Don't get me wrong; I'm not just picking on actors. Musicians who try their hands at acting suck too.
Eminem makes Ben Affleck look like Marlon Brando. That golden retriever in the "Air Bud" films was a better actor than Tom Petty.
Of course there are exceptions. Jack black kicks ass in both realms. Jason Schwartzman can light up the screen and the stage. Frank Sinatra and David Bowie both did great work in different mediums.
And Justin Timberlake is a shiny diamond full of talent.
But those types of artists are far and few between. For the most part, it's just mediocre thespians and musicians feeding their egos by trying to change their image.
I don't know what it is, but there's something undeniably corny and disturbing about an actor trying to be taken seriously as a musician.
Sometimes you just need iconic figures in your life to sit still and stay in one place. Especially if they're only marginally talented.
But before I go, I need to clear something up. I realize I've left out one of the most important entertainers of all time in this little rant of mine. She's an amazingly talented actor and singer who flawlessly branched the gap between music and film. Without further ado: Lindsay Lohan, ladies and gentlemen. Bask in all her glory.
Sincerely,
Eric Wendt
Eric can be reached at entertainmenteditor@theorion.com
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