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Heavy chains hanging from the ceiling, large, black flogging whips, thick, wiry rope wrapped around intimates. Interested? Then you should try BDSM.
An acronym for a bondage and discipline, dominance and submission and sadism and masochism, BDSM is a form of erotic play. It is, for the most part, distinguished by the fact partners usually take on harmonizing yet unequal roles.
The people in charge of conducting the activities are called “tops,” or “dominants,” according to HighBeam Research, Inc. Those who are recipients of the activities are known as “bottoms,” or “submissives.”
Although BDSM can include scenarios with the aforementioned chains, whips and rope, a lot of it can be subtle and soft as well, such as lightly tugging on your partner’s hair or tickling during foreplay or intercourse.
Knowing what type of play each of the three BDSM subcategories represent will help if you’re looking to try something extra kinky.
Bondage and discipline — B &D — is perfect for anyone who likes to be tied up. Bondage, characterized by constricting your partner in some way, can include using handcuffs, a collar or engaging in breast bondage.
Discipline is the use of rules and punishment to control “undesirable” behavior, such as having an orgasm when you were commanded not to.
Some people like to act out sexual scenes through dominance and submission — D & S. Dominance is the mental, physical or emotional control of someone, while submission is the act of complying with that control. A lot of D & S involves role-playing as well as body worship, female dominance and servitude fantasies.
Fewer people have delved into the extreme side of BDSM, sadism and masochism —S & M. Sadism refers to the satisfaction from inflicting pain or humiliation upon your partner, while masochism is the gratification of receiving the pain, according to Discovery Health’s online sexual health center. S & M varies from playing with ice, knives, wax or fire, to strangling or whipping someone.
If the comfort level is ever breached, BDSM-Index.com claims having a safety word or phrase, such as “stop immediately,” is vital. Partners involved must have set boundaries in order to avoid someone getting seriously injured.
Despite the social taboos surrounding it, engaging in BDSM does not indicate psychological or emotional problems, said Gloria G. Brame, PhD, a clinical sexologist. As long as the adults are consenting, acting out fetishes is a normal response for inner sexual desire.
So, who’s up for a little spanking?
Jeanetta can be reached at
sexcolumnist@theorion.com
3 comments
At least 10 percent of folks admit to having some BDSM in their sex life, and it is usually light and playful. Folks who do it are not any more messed up than anyone else and it is just part of their sex map.
I laugh when I see all the S&M images in the media (lady gaga is so subtle isn't she?) but then people get bent out of shape when they hear the BDSM label used.
If this country would mellow out more about sex and care more about things that are real issues the world would be a better place, and allot more fun!So, we need a sitcom about a couple who are like anyone else but are into BDSM-
there's an interesting view on normalizing a relationship through the philosophy and application of BDSM.