The Orion Online

Issue date: 12/3/08 Section: Features

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Click here to see Chris Thompson's counterpoint

Weekly flower deliveries and romantic nights out realistically come to a halt once the honeymoon stage ends. The trickiest aspect of long-term relationships is overcoming the hurdle of being in lust to truly being in love.

The quote "love don't come easy" couldn't be more true. However, this holiday season try to keep your love exciting and unpredictable.

Spice up your life

Sex shouldn't fall into a routine or pattern. Nothing is more boring than the same positions and moans from a partner year after year. Talking dirty or becoming a contortionist may be the key to a good thrill. Or have sex in new, exciting places. Never underestimate going at it on the washer and dryer - I prefer the spin cycle. However, spicing things up in the bedroom isn't always the key to keeping the relationship held together. Make sure your partner is satisfied in all aspects. Women tend to be unhappy about little things; i.e., clothes left on the floor. If small annoyances aren't worked out between the two of you it may inhibit any spicy sex life. When women have sex they often can't enjoy themselves if a lot is on their mind.

Get out of town

Going on small vacations can rejuvenate and relax tired couples. Not only will the sex be exciting in a fancy hotel room, but couples will use this time to bond and focus only on each other. Eliminating school and work for a weekend is a powerful thing. Napa and San Francisco are short car rides away. A small road trip can be a great bonding experience, and sex on the side of the road isn't what is sexy - it's the spontaneity of it. Don't be afraid to ditch the Chico "party scene" for a weekend. I promise it will be here when you get back.

Save future talk for well... the future

Let's face it, most of us are roughly 22 or younger, and putting time constraints can only lead to disappointment. In college we have so much change ahead of us. Planning baby names and diamond ring sizes can really put pressure on a partner - and kill a young libido faster than you can say, "I do." The three-year plan doesn't mean he needs to propose or else. Let things happen naturally - if the person is "the one" then trust me, it will happen.

Just breathe

Give each other some quality time apart. I know it's hard to imagine a few nights alone, however, won't you find yourself appreciating the person more? Everyone has a separate life to live. Weaving others in and out is where it gets tricky. Being able to maintain a good balance between friends, family and significant others is hard to come by these days. I suggest working at it, your friends and family will appreciate it.

So don't be discouraged when the honeymoon ends. It only means the two of you are heading down the road of mature, steady relationships. Kudos. Celebrate and get wild between the sheets.

Dionna Mash can be reached at
dmash@theorion.com

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