The Orion Online

Issue date: 8/27/08 Section: Features

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Friends with benefits is a term that has been swarming around my social circle since junior high. Of course, in junior high a FWB was more of a make-out partner than a post-2 a.m. booty call.

Some students may find a FWB ideal. Longer than a one-night stand, yet less stressful than an affair and free of anything too emotional - what is there to object to? You can even lounge in your sweats with your "pal" after doing the dirty and watch reruns of "Friends," only to reassure that your relationship corresponds with the sitcom's title.

Unfortunately, from my experience and observation, this bliss will not last long, and your once great friend may soon become an acquaintance or an enemy.

When I was 18, a 23-year-old co-worker of mine tricked me into a seemingly wonderful, beneficial friendship. We partied together, slept together and most inconveniently of all, worked together. For the first couple of months life was great, I was fulfilling my sexual needs with no real commitment. Then around month three, I fell hard.

I wanted much more than "just friends" and was convinced the more I slept with him, the closer we were to changing our MySpace statuses.

Naive to the sexual agony I was enduring, I let the relationship drag on, only to hear lame excuses such as, "You're too young" or "We'll see how things go." Eventually I wanted out, and not only did I have to come up with a way to cut all ties, I also had to cope with the fact that he'd be making lattes and cappuccinos by my side at Starbucks on the daily, as my supervisor. The friendship we shared before exposing our privates was impossible to salvage at this point. Cutting him off took meeting a new guy who wanted to call me his girlfriend and give me the respect I had been lacking.

Looking back, I realize I was nothing but a booty call, and our "friendship" was at his convenience.

Sixty percent of 125 men and women surveyed in a Michigan State University study said they've had at least one FWB. Friends with benefits has undoubtedly made its mark as a signature college experience that students will constantly be intrigued by.

So, if you think you have what it takes to be friends by day and sex partners by night, I say congrats on conquering something I believe to be emotionally challenging. Anything is possible, and college seems to be the best time to dip in and out of relationships - and people.

But take caution. Know you are jeopardizing your friendship and possibly setting yourself or your partner up for a rough road ahead. Use good judgment when you decide how emotionally involved to get and squeeze in as many free dinner dates as possible.

Lastly, make sure you are initiating an equal amount of booty calls as they are, because after all, you did agree to this for the sole purpose of getting some, right?

Dionna Mash can be reached at
dmash@theorion.com

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