2008 Woodie Awards
Sex Columnist: Chris Thompson: Would you like sauce with that?
By: Chris Thompson
Issue date: 9/3/08 Section: Features
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I stand up for a person's right to swallow.
Students who give head are faced with a quick decision immediately following the climactic leg jerk and infamous "O Face"-that's right, spit or swallow?
Obviously men can finish somewhere other than their partners' mouths during a blowjob. Men are turned on the most at climax and often want to make sure the finish is the most enjoyable moment.
Either way, if the man doesn't know where he's finishing at the moment of truth, things could get sticky.
Porn is a great reference for men to explore more kinky - and arguably more degrading - money shots.
Yet some students aren't down with the dirty and want nothing to do with varying cum-shot destinations.
There are many reasons women don't like to swallow. Some may think it's uncomfortable to be in such a submissive position. But remember, you do have them by the balls.
Also, some may gag at the taste of cum.
But do these reasons outweigh the benefits?
The feeling you get from pleasing your partner should outweigh the mild stomach churn you may endure.
According to the credible doctors at dontspitswallow.com, cum is a concentrated source of protein and other essential nutrients. And despite its creamy appearance, semen contains about 15 calories per ejaculation.
Not only is cum a nutritious low-fat snack, swallowing just makes everything easier - no cleanup, no awkward post-bust bathroom trips, no problem - right?
Students are influenced by the rumor that jizz tastes gross. On the contrary, my best friend told me his ex loved the taste of his baby batter.
How does one person's cum taste good, but another's can make someone gag?
If your partner shies away from fellatio and claims your man juice tastes like stale beer, try swapping Keystone Light for pineapple juice.
Sweet fruits and veggies are said to affect the taste of your semen, according to dontspitswallow.com.
However, cutting back on the beer intake is a hard concept for many Chico men to swallow. So ladies, you may be out of luck.
Kissing someone right after they head down to your candy shop may sound gross, but if they care about you enough to swallow your cum, you should give them the courtesy of a kiss afterward.
Allowing men to let loose in their partners' mouths would be my choice. However, for respect and love of my female friends, it is technically not up to me - or any man for that matter.
Sometimes we just don't get what we want and we need to respect the decision of the ones we care about.
Chris Thompson can be reached at
cthompson@theorion.com
Viewing Comments 1 - 10 of 26
Mariana Olvera
posted 9/03/08 @ 8:46 AM PST
This is absolutely ridiculous. My activity fees are paying for smut? The orion is supposed to be an award winning school newspaper. And yet tax payer dollars are supporting smut?
Most of the time the sex columnists have something to say. (Continued…)
millie thompson
posted 9/03/08 @ 4:43 PM PST
Sometimes saying less is more and with my generation oral sex was not talked about.Period.The Orian is a format for students to read about unlimited topics including their direct opinions that have been referred to as smut. (Continued…)
Richard Walsh
posted 9/03/08 @ 5:50 PM PST
I think the sex column on the issue spiting of swallowing was in poor taste, if you will pardon the pun. I think the Orion should get rid of the sex column altogether. (Continued…)
Sarah
posted 9/04/08 @ 12:27 AM PST
"The feeling you get from pleasing your partner should outweigh the mild stomach churn you may endure."
Yeah right. It's no wonder our school gets such a bad rep. (Continued…)
anonymous
posted 9/04/08 @ 9:00 AM PST
Not happy about the sex column in this issue at all. Like Richard Walsh already pointed out, there are lots of people attending this school that have absolutely no interest in this garbage. (Continued…)
Kelly
posted 9/04/08 @ 1:08 PM PST
when it comes to "nutritious low-fat snacks," semen does not make the desert island top 5, brother. i'm glad that you, unlike your partner, did not suggest that a facial shot is a better alternative. (Continued…)
Jill Menius
posted 9/04/08 @ 4:36 PM PST
I would like to inform the outraged taxpayers that the Orion is not a tax, nor a CSUChico funded newspaper. . .if the smut offends you dont read the sex column. (Continued…)
Richard Walsh's Father
posted 9/04/08 @ 9:38 PM PST
Son, I'm going to kick you in the nuts....
With Love,
Your Father
TacoMan
posted 9/06/08 @ 3:58 PM PST
Are these articles some kind of joke? Was this a contest to get "cum" in the newspaper as many times as possible? It seems like it.
Both sex columns this week are half-ass attempts at journalism. (Continued…)
Journalism Teacher
posted 9/08/08 @ 4:56 PM PST
If this article represents a new trend for Journalism with the Orion, then you've hit the bottom of the bottom. I used to have my students read the Orion for model writing. (Continued…)
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