2008 Woodie Awards
Connor Ramey: It's all in the name
By: Connor Ramey
Issue date: 9/3/08 Section: Sports
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With Cincinnati Bengal Chad Johnson - or now Chad Javon Ocho Cinco - as inspiration, I have decided to change my name. His new name represents his playing number of 85, mine is my adolescent lucky number of 49.
It's seven squared, it's the name of the San Francisco football team. Forty-nine has always fascinated me. Now it is me - at least a Spanish version of me.
But the name needs to be broken up into single digits. It stands out more. My name being Spanish numbers just isn't enough, they have to be grammatically incorrect.
Some may call our name changes ignorant or foolish, but it's all in fun.
It's all for "fun," Cinco said. The Spanish nickname came from Cinco himself in October 2006. The wide receiver announced that he would like to be called Ocho Cinco in honor of Hispanic Heritage Month, even though he lacks the heritage.
But heck, so do I. And it won't stop me. It will just make me more interesting, which is always a good thing, right?
I'll never be forgotten. With such a unique name you're instantly ingrained in everyone's mind - that's what America seems to be about.
Ocho Cinco's name change was made official last week, when reports came out of Broward County, Fla., starting a whirlwind of interest.
It's the start of a national trend, so be patriotic. I'm just jumping onboard early.
Follow the lead if you want to be important. How much better would it be if John McCain or Barack Obama were inaugurated as Cuatro Cuatro? All international problems would be a thing of the past. Who would confront someone with such a "fun" last name?
Plus, it's always the right way to go, giving yourself your own nickname. You choose what you're called, no arguments, no silly-unwanted names.
Ocho Cinco had it right, although his coach Marvin Lewis referred to him as "Ocho Psycho." But he's just angry he didn't come up with the Spanish moniker first.
Why else would such a comment be made?
It's catching on. Soon Chico State's own Scott Bauhs will be known as Tres Cinco Nueve, Natasha Smith will be Uno Uno and Bret Ringer will be Uno Tres. It's just a matter of time.
But nobody will ever reach the originality of Ocho Cinco.
But Connor Cuatro Nueve does flow pretty well.
Cuatro Nueve can be reached at
sportseditor@theorion.com
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