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I understand the need to get freaky in the bedroom. I can even understand the need to do it with more than one person. But what I don’t understand is why people think it’s a good idea to tape these undercover activities.
It’s not like you’re going to pop in the VHS and look back on those memories fondly.
The latest celebrities to join the club of sex-tape stars are Eric Dane — yes, McSteamy from Grey’s Anatomy — his wife Rebecca Gayheart and former Miss Teen USA, Kari Ann Peniche. In a 12-minute home movie, the three wander around naked and high, talk about what their porn names would be and relate stories about drowning rubber duckies while in the bathtub. Surprisingly, no actual bump’n’grind goes down.
Why do stars keep making this mistake? With the exception of Paris Hilton, no one has ever gained a better reputation in Hollywood by leaking a sex tape.
And, to be honest, I’m not really sure you can call Hilton’s reputation “better” for her exploits.
Are fallen celebs so obsessed with being famous that they’ll try anything to get back into the spotlight? Because, if so, I have a newsflash for those who are “desperately seeking fame,” leaking a sex tape in Hollywood puts you on the same level as the kid who gets hit with a ball in gym class.They’re not laughing with you.
It’s common sense not to hang out with people who can get you in trouble and in Dane and Gayheart’s case, I think they should have re-thought who was going to play number three in their threesome. Asking Peniche to hold on to — and star in — your sex tape is like asking Heidi Fleiss to keep a secret.
Former beauty queen Peniche was stripped of her Miss Teen USA title for posing in Playboy, got kicked out of “Celebrity Rehab” with Dr. Drew — she was there to work on her sex addiction — and has been rumored to be an up-and-coming Hollywood madam.
Now there’s a girl you can bring home to mom. Or you could just e-mail your mom the link to the sex tape. Same thing.
It seems to me that anyone who willingly seeks out someone such as Peniche, makes a tape of their naked, drug-addled threesome and acts enraged when that tape gets leaked, was seriously asking for trouble. Come to think of it, neither Dane nor Gayheart are exactly A-list celebrities. Perhaps they were hoping for a Hilton-esque boost in their career.
Maybe I just like to see people like that suffocate under the weight of their own stupidity, because I’m having trouble mustering up sympathy for either of them. The capper to this story is, supposedly, Dane, Gayheart, Peniche and Peniche’s former roommate and fellow “Celebrity Rehab” patient, Mindy McCready — who was accused of stealing the video in question off Peniche’s hard drive — met last month in an attempt by Dane and Gayheart to stop the video from being leaked. According to TMZ.com, Dane won control of the tape, and the matter was over. That is, until it showed up on Gawker.com last week.
This begs the question, If Dane and Gayheart had the tape, then who leaked it?
Regardless, the very last thing I wanted to see this weekend was another naked trio of D-listers. If anything, this whole affair has taught me to have a video camera nowhere near my bedroom.
And to stay away from sex-addicted beauty queens. Those chicks are crazy.
Robin can be reached at
opinioneditor@theorion.com
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