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Stallions and princesses, Valentine’s Day is nearly upon us.
While all you lovers out there will be experiencing the mushy feelings meant for Feb. 14, the rest of us will be quietly wishing we could get intimate with someone too.
It’s like a holiday with an asterisk, meant only for those who have someone special.
Indeed, Valentine’s Day has some of us feeling extra amorous while the rest of us are left hating the fact we don’t really have anything to celebrate.
So what are Chico State athletes up to this Valentine’s Day?
Freshman exercise physiology major Jonathan Bautista, 18 and a newcomer to the Chico State men’s soccer team said his plate is still empty.
“I don’t have big plans or anything,” Bautista said. “I mean there’s nothing really to do if you don’t have a girlfriend. It’s nice to have a girlfriend so she can go to your games, support you and just share the spotlight.”
Even those athletes without a partner are confident they will be prepared when the situation presents itself.
Junior communications major Zach Graves, a starter on the Chico State men’s basketball team, has a few tricks up his sleeve.
“I don’t have a girlfriend right now, but I’ve got a special friend,” Graves said. “First you got to find the right Valentine. Then you take her to the movies and fix her a gourmet homemade dinner. Then you got to give her a massage.”
Come on, jocks. You can’t deny that Valentine’s Day is the busiest day of your year.
Athletes love their multiple relationships, right?
From Kobe Bryant’s infamous Colorado spare-part-sweetheart to Tiger Woods’ recent indiscretions with a bevy of waitresses, athletes have a history of being quite busy around Valentine’s Day.
Michael Storer, 21, a junior civil engineering major on the Chico State men’s track team knows exactly what Valentine’s Day will bring for him this year.
“I’ve got plans to take my girlfriend up to San Francisco,” Storer said. “We’re going to go to Teatro ZinZanni on Pier 29. It’s like a big tent thing that you go in, you’re served a five course dinner and you get to watch a show with acrobats.”
As a sports enthusiast, I would consider myself relatively knowledgeable about the pros and cons of being a sports star.
Though I’ve never been one myself, I’d imagine one of the biggest paradoxes athletes face is relationships.
Because athletes are put on a higher pedestal than the rest of us, that makes them more desirable and more susceptible to scrutiny.
Tough combo, right?
On one hand, athletes have more opportunities to form sexual relationships, while on the other, they are held more accountable for keeping a tight clamp on their sexual urges.
If Peyton Manning was a local bank teller and he committed incest, would anybody care? Other than those immediately affected by it, probably not.
What if LeBron James worked at a Chipotle in Cleveland and cheated on his significant other, would anybody this side of Lake Superior blink an eye?
Probably not, no matter how good he was at making burritos.
So, I can’t exactly blame any athletes who are flying solo this Valentine’s Day. Staying single is the ultimate middle ground for an athlete.
I can imagine it now — the individual intimacies without the external demands. The solo satisfactions without the group’s glare and the private freedoms without the public punishments.
There’s nothing wrong with that.
It’s pretty much the only safe field an athlete can play on these days. It’s a position where the public can only scrutinize your playing abilities, while your sexual needs are still being met.
Here’s to being single.
Dane Stivers can be reached at
dstivers@theorion.com
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